In Our Time Apart
by FiliKiliThorinforever
Summary: It's always been Fíli and Kíli, never Fíli or Kíli, but some unwanted visitors arrive outside Ered Luin the day before Fíli's 70th birthday and change all that, changing their lives in a way they never thought possible. - Rating possibly MA for torture (Can't select it though...)
1. Promise Me

**A/N: Hello everyone! So! New story! This is one I've had planned for a while, and it links to another story I'll get round to writing eventually I'm sure, that was the main reason for writing this one! Anyway this one is a bit darker that It Only Takes A Lie which is my other Hobbit story, and this one will certainly be more graphic.  
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**As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien**

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Kíli sighed happily as he lay on his back and gazed up at the stars. It was a clear summer's night in Ered Luin, the moon was at its brightest and the light breeze kept the area cool. He looked to his right, through the flames of the campfire and spotted his brother mimicking his actions of looking to the night.

Tomorrow was Fíli's 70th birthday, and Kíli had managed to convince his mother and his uncle to allow him to take Fíli out hunting for 3 days before his birthday so they could return with enough meat for the surprise party he and his mother had been planning. He had barely been able to keep his excitement for the party hidden the whole time they'd been hunting, in fact he'd nearly blown his cover several times when he thought about the gift he had lying at home hidden under the bed.

Fíli had always looked out for him from the moment he was born, so Kíli had wanted to make something special for his brother to show just how much he loved him for who he was.

He had spent well over two months preparing the gift, right from drawing the designs to practise attempts, folding the metal, sharpening it, creating the handles, right down to the carvings on the handles and the inscriptions and carvings on the blades. He had created a pair of swords that when looked at there would be no mistake as to who had crafted them. Each sword was crafted to perfection according to Thorin. They were sturdy, perfectly balanced and sharp enough to slice through a neck silently. But the real pride that Kíli took in them was the design.

Each sword hilt had Fíli's symbol carved into them, with Thorin's, Kíli's, Dís' and their father's symbols on each side and slightly smaller. Running along the handle was the seven stars of Durin, showing his royalty. But the best and most beautiful part in Kíli's mind was what was on the blades themselves.

The first sword had the dwarven words for "loyalty, honour and a willing heart" on one side; the saying that Thorin and Dwalin would constantly tell them was the most important to them from a warrior. On the opposite side of the sword had a picture of a lion roaring, standing strong and proud on a rock. Kíli constantly teased Fíli about how he was reminded of a lion every time Fíli fought.

On the second sword the hilt and handle had the same designs and inscriptions, but the blade was different, very different and very special to Kíli. On one side he had inscribed the words in Khuzdul "my partner in crime, my best friend, my protector... My brother" on the opposite side of the blade it had a drawing of another lion, this one was crouched down, looking peaceful and what looked like a smile on its face, looking at a large raven wrapped around its neck. Fíli was Kíli's fierce lion, and Kíli was Fíli's raven.

When he had shown the blades to his mother she had started crying at their words and drawings, and even Thorin had looked to be moved by them. Thorin had helped him create the scabbards for them from the skin of a large elk he'd brought down when he first started the sketches for the sword.

Kíli was so lost in the thought of giving Fíli his present that he didn't hear his brother calling him until he sat down on his stomach.

"Keeeee!" Fíli whined playfully "why're you ignoring me?" He had a grin on his face as Kíli squirmed to try and dislodge his brother.

"Fee you're as heavy as a bear! Get off!" Kíli managed to roll to the side and sent Fíli sprawling on the ground next to him. "And I didn't mean to ignore you, I was just thinking" he said as he sat up.

Fíli smiled softly at his brother before staring back to the fire. Kíli watched as emotions played across his face that didn't suit the peace of the evening. He looked... Worried Kíli thought, which was strange. His brother had nothing to be worried about, well unless it was about his birthday and Kíli knew he'd be able to shake his brother from that mood with the party that was planned.

"Fee, everything alright?"

Fíli looked at him and nodded. "Yeah," He said quietly, "could you redo my braids for me?"

Kíli nodded and Fíli moved to sit between his legs. As he sat down the first thing Kíli noticed was that his brother's braids were perfect, now remembering his brother had done them a few hours prior. he knew that the only reason he'd want him to do them was if he wanted to talk about something but wasn't sure how to say it.

So he set to work taking the beads out, running the comb that was passed to him through his brothers golden hair before separating sections off. The two of them sat in silence for several minutes whilst Kíli took his time, knowing Fíli would open up about what was bothering him sooner or later.

Sure enough Fíli spoke up a few minutes later.

"Kee?"

"Yes Fíli?"

"Tomorrows my birthday..."

"Really?" Kíli said with a grin and sounding innocently confused. "Are you sure cause I could have sworn it was next month!"

Fíli elbowed him in the ribs making them both laugh. "Seriously though, tomorrows my birthday which means that Thorin's lessons on being an heir are going to increase, he's going to expect more of me, want me to travel more y'know?"

Kíli nodded slowly, then realising that his brother couldn't see his nod so he said "okay... I don't understand why this has you worried though."

Fíli sighed. "It's not me I'm worried about..." He said quietly "It's you, or more so you when I'm not there."

Kíli tugged on a now complete braid. "Did you eat some wild mushrooms or something when I wasn't looking cause you've lost me."

Fíli snorted and continued on "I'm worried because if I go away Kíli, I... Anything can happen on the road and there's a chance that I might not come back."

Kíli froze mid-braid stunned. He'd never thought about this because he'd never let himself think of Fíli being in danger when he was away from home. "In that case I'm coming with you Fee, I won't let you go without me!" He said stubbornly.

"Kee, you can't. Ma will need you here, but I need you to promise me something."

"Fíli you won't be dying the moment you leave home! You can't!" Kíli said sounding slightly hysterical as he clasped a bead to another finished braid.

Fíli spun around so he was facing his brother. "I'm sorry I sound so morbid right before my birthday, and there's a high chance nothing will happen on the road anyway, but I want you, us in fact, to make a promise to each other."

"What kind of promise?" Kíli asked suspiciously.

"I want you to promise me that if anything were to happen to me, you wouldn't let my death rule and ruin your life..."

Kíli opened his mouth to interrupt but Fíli placed a finger to his lips and carried on.

"You can grieve, I'd never deny you that, you can be angry and hate me or do whatever you have to when it happens, but if I die I don't want you to try and follow me, I don't want to die knowing that you'll follow me out of love. I want you to live a long and happy life with lots of kids and remember me for who I am, and live knowing I love you with all my heart and that I will be waiting for you when old age claims you. Even then I expect you to put up a fight to Mahal."

His hand was holding Kíli's neck, pressing their foreheads together as he whispered to him. They both had tears in their eyes as they'd never spoken before about one of them falling and what the other was supposed to do, because they were always together never apart, it was always Fíli and Kíli not Fíli or Kíli, it just sounded wrong, and them being apart for a long period of time was almost unheard of.

Kíli's voiced wavered as looked his brother in the eyes. "Only if you promise me the same. You have to promise that if I die you won't go looking for revenge just to get yourself killed."

Fíli struggled silently with that, he knew deep down that he'd never let harm befall his little brother, that he'd take every injury to keep him safe and if Kíli was taken from him he wouldn't stop until every last person who'd been there was dead, then he'd make sure he'd be able to follow him soon after.

Fíli sighed, drained emotionally by this talk already. "Alright Kee, I promise I won't."

"Then I... I promise too." Kíli said quietly.

Fíli squeeze the back of his brother's neck gently. "Thank you. Now enough depressing talk before my birthday, come on, finish the braids then we can sleep as we have an early start in the morning, especially if we want Ma to see me before she goes to work" Fíli said with a grin, using his thumbs to wipe away Kíli's tears.

Kíli sniffed and nodded whilst Fíli spun around for him to continue.

They stayed awake for a couple more hours eating and talking about all sorts of nonsense despite saying they would go to bed early. They stopped talking when Kíli started yawning so wide Fíli thought his face might split in half.

"Alright you, enough talking I think as your face looks like it's about to fall off. I'll take first watch as it's been a long 3 days and you've done more of the work than me." Fíli said nudging his brother whose head had been leaning on his shoulder for the last 10 minutes.

Kíli was too tired to argue so he moved to his bedroll which was behind the log they'd been sitting on.

"I'll wake you in a couple of hours Kee." Fíli said, running his hand over his brother's hair in a petting motion, helping the younger dwarf fall asleep faster.

"Okay" Kíli replied, already dropping off to his brothers petting.

"Oh and Kíli?" Fíli asked gently

"Yeah Fee?"

"Thank you, you know for the camping trip. Spending time with you is the best birthday present ever. Love you"

"S'okay Fee. Love you too."

And in the warm summer night, little did they know that their lives were about to change.


	2. I Will Always Love You

**A/N: Welcome back everyone! I don't really know what to say about this chapter, only that I've had this written for a while and can't really imagine this happening any other way, so don't hate me too much?**

******Also welcome to vinnie02, Mzzmarie, Tripping55, tweetzone86, Lakota1172 (welcome back!), kapowa, Aranel Mereneth, FirstLovexx and any guests who have favourited/followed the story!**

******As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien**

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Fíli sat there looking at the moon with a soft smile on his face. He was outdoors, out in the wild where he loved to be. Free to be just Fíli: the son of Dís, nephew to Thorin and brother to Kíli, not Fíli 'the next heir of Durin who will be getting more responsibilities after this birthday', as if he didn't already have enough.

He sighed, yes he was looking forward to going back to his warm bed, but at the same time he wasn't looking forward to going back to where he had to start the harder royal training and sit in at meetings with Thorin, more lessons with Balin, harder training with Dwalin, smithing to make money and helping out at home. He was already tired from what he had to do, practically collapsing in his bed every night, and his load was only going to get bigger.

The only thing that got him through the day was that he had Kíli by his side through everything except for the royal training, Kíli was learning the basic stuff through Balin and would eventually get lessons from Thorin, however Thorin was trying to get Fíli to the level he wanted before bringing Kíli into it all.

Fíli looked down at his brother and smiled. He couldn't remember his life before his brother, but from the stories he'd heard he was a laid back, easy child who was well behaved and quiet. The moment Kíli was born the quiet part had disappeared as he would always talk to his brother and tell him stories about adventures they would have even though Kíli couldn't walk let alone crawl, and the moment Kíli started walking people swore up and down that someone had kidnapped the timid, quiet and laid back Fíli and replaced him with a cheeky, loud and adventure seeking child who had to constantly be watched as he and Kíli would disappear and get into everything they could. It was safe to say they kept Dís, Thorin and their father busy.

Fíli's attention snapped back to the present with the twig that snapped nearby. His swords lay across his lap so he grasped the hilts and looked around, weariness forgotten, eyes and ears sharp. There was another crack off to his right. He would have pegged the noises to be the horses moving around, only problem was they were on his left.

Fíli released one of his swords to shake Kíli's shoulder, eyes still scanning the area.

"Kíli! Kíli wake up!" Fíli hissed in a whisper.

"S'my turn? Fíli?" Kíli asked rubbing his eyes to look at his brother before spotting his hands on his sword and his tense posture.

"What is it?" Kíli whispered, getting to a kneeling position, shouldering his quiver and attaching his sword belt before setting an arrow to his bow.

"Not sure, could be nothing but I heard twigs snapping off to the right."

They both looked that way and scanned the bushes, only to have their heads snap forward when there was a rustling and another branch breaking in the forest in front of them.

"Could be an animal?" Kíli asked quietly, focussing on the patch of forest the noise had come from.

"Possibly, if so it or they are circling." Fíli replied quietly, gripping both swords and standing. He walked forwards quietly, sheathing a sword to his back and slipping his long dagger into his hand. Kíli stood and drew his bow, pointing towards the trees.

A slight huffing noise, so quiet that he was surprised he heard it at all had him spinning around and throwing his dagger with deadly precision, straight into the throat of a Warg.

"KÍLI!"

Kíli was already onto it, spinning and releasing his arrow straight into the throat of the orc who was riding the Warg, and quickly swapping his bow for his sword to slice through the Wargs neck to make sure it was dead.

Fíli leapt back to his brother and they stood back to back as 40 orcs poured out of the forest on all sides and charged at the two dwarves. Their skills and moves practised and flawless, they had no problem holding the first few orcs off but they both knew that they wouldn't stand a chance in the long run.

"Kíli on my go start moving for the horses!" Fíli yelled desperately, blocking an orc and slicing its arm off.

Fíli and Kíli worked in unison, blocking and stabbing together, making sure each was protected, as the orcs now had them surrounded, blocking off their path to the horses.

Thanks to Fíli's twin blades, he was able to thin out the orcs directly surrounding them. They had killed 10 and injured a few more, but the brothers were tiring, and quickly.

'We're going to have to focus on improving our stamina' Fíli thought dryly. His attention was wrenched back to the present when he heard a gasp behind him.

"Kíli?!" Fíli called urgently, he could feel his brother behind him, but couldn't tell if and how bad he'd been hurt. There was silence from Kíli before he grunted.

"I'm ok... He just got my arm. Just a cut." Kíli gasped, swinging his sword to decapitate the offending orc.

Fíli looked around desperately, they were getting slower and sloppier and if they didn't get out of there quickly then they were going to die.

Fíli looked to the panicking yet still tethered horses, both which were thankfully still being ignored in favour for the dwarves, and started turning so his back was to them, knowing Kíli would move with him so they would be directly in his path.

One thing about fighting, Fíli realised, was that if you were getting tired, thinking about strategy and not focussing on the battle you were going to make mistakes, and he realised this as an orc blade sliced into his side and was pulled out roughly making him cry out. It hadn't gone too deep, at least not deep enough to do any internal damage, but enough to make his whole side feel like it was on fire.

"Fee you ok?!" Kíli yelled, shooting a look over his shoulder, blocking before stabbing another Orc.

"I'll be fine, just make for the ponies. NOW!" Fíli yelled; turning quickly to check the coast was clear before shoving his brother towards them.

Kíli stumbled due to exhaustion and blood loss but managed to make his way to the horses, stabbing orcs that tried to block his path. As expected he'd sustained a few small cuts from catching the tail end of a blade as he blocked, but his main concern was the deep gash that ran across his left arm which was bleeding profusely. He hoped it hadn't nicked anything important, as it was his arm was crimson and the oozing blood showed no indication of stopping anytime soon, but he knew if it had hit even a tiny portion of an artery then he'd be dead by now. He knew he needed to wrap it but it wasn't likely he'd be given a chance.

Kíli was almost to the ponies when a cry of pain had him spinning around with his sword ready, only to feel his heart plummet. Fíli was struggling to get free from the mouth of a Warg which had clamped around his body and was shaking him like a ragdoll.

"NO!" Kíli screamed, fluidly swapping his sword for his bow and, ignoring the pain fired two arrows one after another rapidly, one at the rider and one at the Warg. Each arrow landed with a deadly precision that at any other time Kíli would have been feeling elated at being able to get that accuracy without pausing, however he was too busy watching with horror as the Warg opened its mouth mid-shake in pain to throw his brother bodily to the ground towards him.

Fíli used the momentum from his roll to stagger upright and stumble towards his brother, blocking and stabbing orcs that came to finish him off as he'd somehow managed to keep hold of his swords. It was from his position that he saw Kíli take down 3 more orcs in quick succession, but miss the archer that was aiming at him.

"Kíli! NO!" Fíli cried, too late for his brother to spot and block the arrow that drove into his stomach. Fíli raced forward, pain from the numerous puncture wounds forgotten as he decapitated the orc that had dared to hurt his brother.

Kíli stumbled from the impact but managed stay upright and watched as Fíli removed the orcs head and ran towards him still fighting. But pain and blood loss were now creeping up on him quickly and his vision was beginning to blur.

"Kíli! Get on the horse, now!" Fíli yelled; gasping as he went down on one knee as a blade from an overlooked orc sliced through his calf. He twisted a sword and stabbed behind him into the orc that was trying to finish him off before pushing off the ground, gritting his teeth against the pain and running as fast as possible towards Kíli.

He could see Kíli holding the orcs off as he neared the horses, but he was struggling, especially with the arrow sticking out of his stomach. If Kíli didn't get to a healer's soon Fíli knew he could lose his brother forever, and he refused to let that happen. So he did the only thing he could do that would give his brother time, he flung himself at the orcs surrounding Kíli and fought like a dwarf possessed.

"Kíli! Get on and tie yourself to her!" Fíli roared, not noticing as a blade sliced through his back deeply. He was beyond feeling pain as his whole body felt like it was on fire.

Kíli, who was starting to get light headed from the blood loss and spreading stomach acid struggled up onto his horse and tied the reins around his waist. He knew that if he passed out this would be the only thing to stop him from tumbling off.

"I'm tied on!" Kíli gasped out as he knocked the arrow whilst trying to calm Daisy.

Fíli assessed the situation quickly, the orcs were advancing on them quickly, and there was no way he'd be able to get onto the horse that was past Kíli without risking them both getting killed, so he took the only option he could see; he spun, lobbing off the heads of two orcs before slashing his sword through the rope tied around the tree and freeing both ponies.

"Get him home and don't stop!" Fíli yelled, jumping to the side and slapping the horse on its flank, before turning back to face the enemy.

"Love you Kee, always." Fíli said quietly, briefly watching the horses carry his brother into the night before turning back to the battle with a fierce snarl, truly the lion Kíli always said he was.

And as a sword drove through his chest, Fíli knew he could be forgiven for thinking he heard his brother call out his name as his world went black.

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The horses thundered off, and Kíli gasped at the jolting the horses galloping caused as it jostled the arrow continuously. The pain from the arrow moving caused his stomach acid to spread throughout his body, forcing him to turn his head to the left and vomit away from buttercup and Fíli who were on his right. He coughed through the pain and looked to his right to smile at Fíli.

"I'm ok F... Fíli? FÍLI?!" Kíli screamed, realising that his brother had never mounted buttercup.

He spun in his saddle to look towards the battle, making blood and stomach acid pour out of the wound as he tore his stomach open more and saw Fíli watching him before he disappeared under a Warg and orcs.

"Fíli..." He whispered, collapsing against Daisy's neck trying to fight unconsciousness but losing his battle. Before the darkness claimed him he managed one to cry one last thing.

"FEE!"


	3. An Uneasy Feeling

**Welcome back everyone! Introducing Thorin! Hooray! Lol, was interesting writing him this time around from my other fic, I've made him slightly more relaxed than what he was when they went on the quest, but we'll see him change back over time I'm sure! :)**

**As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien**

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The door to the meeting house swung open and a group of dwarves walked out, mumbling between themselves about going to the tavern for a meal. Inside only 3 dwarves remained. Balin finished writing the notes from the meeting, normally Ori, his apprentice would have carried out the task of scribe but his brother Dori was sick so he was helping look after him. Dwalin, the second dwarf at the table cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders.

"Well, that went better than expected. I was half expecting this to drag out for another week or for someone to lose a few teeth." He grinned at his brother who rolled his eyes as he shuffled his now complete notes, then looked to his right to the head of the table.

"Come on, ye can't tell me yer not relieved?"

Thorin lifted his head from his arms and glared at Dwalin "yes I'm glad it's over Dwalin, but it could have been over yesterday afternoon when I told them the exact same thing! They were too busy yelling at each other that they didn't bother listening. They're all lucky I had Fíli's gift completed three days ago otherwise I would have ended negotiations painfully three hours ago."

"Why didn't ye say anything about it earlier?" Dwalin asked confused.

"I did!" Thorin cried indignantly "They're all too pig-headed to listen! It's the last flaming time we deal with them I'm telling you now Dwalin, once their contract runs out next week I want them gone and I certainly don't want to see them again. This sort of rubbish happens every year and I've had enough. Dain can have them in the future."

Balin stood and filed away the notes for review the following morning. "Come on Thorin, lets head back and talk to Dís about Fíli's party tomorrow whilst we have something to eat, you know she's expecting us."

Thorin sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Alright, the sooner we get back the better, there are a few things I want to discuss."

Dwalin and Balin nodded and followed Thorin out of the building. Balin locked the door and the three of them headed to the house he shared with Dís, Kíli and Fíli.

"Nice night out tonight for the lads, clear sky and full moon. When are they due back Thorin?" Balin asked basking in the cool summer air.

"Tomorrow morning sometime, they had said they'd be close to the town by nightfall but Kíli wanted to arrive on Fíli's birthday, he didn't want to leave a gap between the trip and him opening his gifts."

"They'll undoubtedly sleep in so we won't see them until late morning. Fíli will have his hands full trying to get that brother of his up. Ye know what a shocker he is first thing in the morning." Dwalin said with a rumbling chuckle.

Balin shook his head in amusement remembering the many scolding's they'd all dished out over the years due to him sleeping in as they continued along the path towards the main gate and the homes further on.

Thorin looked up at the sky as the unease he'd been feeling all evening settled further around his heart. It was a beautiful night, not a cloud in the sky, warm, a cool and soft breeze and it was quiet. But that was the problem, it was too quiet for Thorin's liking, it was almost as though someone had put a blanket over the village and it was muffling all the sound, even the ever noisy Lone Warrior tavern was quiet.

Dwalin noticed the unease on his friends face, there wasn't much that he missed when it came to his childhood friend and shield brother. "Everything alright?" He asked with a nudge.

Thorin sighed. "It's nothing really, just... Something feels off tonight. I would have preferred the lads' home by now, having them gone for so long when they're so young worries me." He glanced at his friends before rolling his eyes and looking away at their amused expressions.

"They're trained warriors Thorin, this is just the next step for them in their training, they need to learn to rely on themselves and each other to survive in the wild you know this. They'll be fine and tomorrow you'll be laughing at your worries. They're good lads; you helped raise them after all."

Thorin nodded and sighed. Letting the boys go for more than a day had been a hard decision. He knew it was time to trust them to be able to look after themselves when out hunting, they'd been on long trips before but had always had Thorin and Dwalin with them, and letting them go meant they were indeed growing up.

Part of him wanted them to remain as the dwarfling's who would come to him when they were frightened or when they needed an evil goblin to fight in their games, but he also knew that he couldn't be more proud of the dwarves and warriors they were becoming. Dedicated to their learnings but more dedicated to each other, their family and sadly, as much mischief as they could possibly cause.

As they approached the main gate Thorin noticed there were more guards in the main square than normal, he looked around trying to find someone he recognised.

"Thorin!"

Thorin turned his head and saw Gloin hurrying over. "Gloin what's going on? Why're there so many guards here?"

Gloin stopped before the group and looked at them with concern.

"A few of the wall guards thought they heard a commotion about 10 minutes ago. We summoned enough guards to give us some defence in case of a surprise attack, and someone standing by to sound the alarm to summon the rest if need be. We were just discussing on whether to send for you or –"

Just then a cry from above the gate drew everyone's attention.

"Incoming!"

All the guards scrambled into defensive positions, Thorin, Balin and Dwalin dashing towards the armoury that was near the gate when there was another call from the wall's watchtower.

"Hold up! It's just a couple of horses."

There was a collective sigh from the guards as they relaxed, but Thorin hurried over to Gloin, the unease that had been plaguing him all evening now in full swing.

"Gloin!" Thorin asked urgently, grabbing the dwarfs shoulder and spinning him round, cutting off the conversation he'd just been having with another guard.

"Steady on Thorin! What is it?" Gloin looked at him curiously, then at Dwalin and Balin who were standing behind their leader looking confused.

"Where did the guards say they heard the commotion?" Panic starting to seep into Thorin's tone.

"Um..."

"Where Gloin?!" He demanded, giving Gloin's shoulder a hard shake.

"In the forest ahead, Thorin what's going on?"

Thorin went as pale as a ghost and turned towards the gate, sprinting up the stairs two at a time. He stopped at the top and leaning forward in an attempt for a better view saw two horses galloping towards the gate.

"Thorin what is it?" Dwalin asked, coming to stand next to his friend as shaking his shoulder to get his attention.

"Dwalin, the boys are camping near the town, they took horses with them!" Thorin said, thoroughly panicking now as he'd just made out the colour of both horses thanks to the moonlight and realised that it was indeed Daisy and Buttercup thundering towards them. The horses were getting close to the gates so Thorin raced back down the stairs, followed by the now worried Dwalin, Balin and Gloin.

"Get the gates open, NOW!" Thorin roared as he hit the ground and ran to the middle of the yard, placing himself in the path the horses would take.

The gates swung open and all the dwarves watched as the horses drew closer and bolted through the gates straight at them, Thorin waving his arms above his head to slow the horses down. Both horses reared in panic, but it gave him enough time to come in from the side and together he and Dwalin with Balin and Gloin's backup managed to grab the bridles of the horses to help hold them still.

Thorin had grabbed Daisy, and now that she wasn't moving so much he noticed to his horror a slumped figure on her back, in danger of toppling off if not for the ropes around them holding them in place.

Thorin quickly took in the persons outfit, recognising the clothing, quiver and most importantly the silver clip holding the messy brown hair together.

"Kíli?" Thorin whispered in horror. He turned his nephews head towards him, only to discover he was pale with a sheen of sweat indicating a fever was setting in. "I need a knife!" Thorin yelled over his shoulder.

Dwalin appeared by his side and started cutting the ropes that bound Kíli to his horse. As soon as Kíli was free his body toppled sideways off the horse, straight into Thorin's arms. He lowered his nephew to the ground, cradling his body and allowing them all to fully see the unconscious dwarf.

Cuts and gashes littered his body, a particularly nasty gash could be seen on his arm, his clothing was torn where injuries could be seen, but the worst one that they could see was the arrow sticking out of his stomach. Thorin realised Kíli had collapsed on the side the arrow wasn't on so the shaft didn't knock onto the horse driving it further in.

Thorin held his ear above Kíli's mouth, hoping against hope to hear something and to his relief felt a faint fluttering of breath against his cheek.

"Thank Mahal..." Thorin whispered, touching his forehead to his nephew's briefly in relief. He scooped his Kíli up and with Dwalin's help he stood before taking off to the healing house with Dwalin and Balin close behind and Gloin yelling that he'd get Dís.


	4. A Warrior Laid Low

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Sorry for the delay with this chapter! I prefer to stay a few chapters ahead and I've been having a few issues with the one I'm currently on, it just doesn't want to co-operate with me on the way I want to write it, but I've finally worked it out and I'm relatively happy with it :D**

**Special shout out to new favouriters/followers: Princess Shania, Lilyoda, fromNikiwithLove, Luinwen-2013, justlemmeread, acciojd, knor-wren, RivalXleader, DreamElm76. Welcome! And also a special shout out to Lakota1172 who has been following me since It Only Takes A Lie, you rock! Glad you're up to date, and I'm sure you'll be breathing some kind of sigh of relief by chapter 6 :D  
**

**As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien**

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Thorin ran as fast as he dared, trying to be as mindful of the arrow that was sticking out of Kíli's stomach as possible. Soon enough they neared the healer's house. Dwalin overtook Thorin, running at a speed Thorin didn't know his friend possessed and burst through the doors up ahead.

Moments later Dwalin appeared in the doorway talking to the head healer Oin, a good and old friend who had patched up Thorin and his family more times than anyone could count. Oin could be seen yelling out orders to the other healers while he waited for Thorin to enter the building.

Thorin ran straight inside the healing house and followed Oin to a room, whilst other healers scurried around taking all sorts of supplies to the room they were heading to.

"Bring him in here!" Oin called out.

Thorin moved into the room and saw Oin by a table as well as four other healers all preparing to help the injured dwarf.

"Thorin I need you to put him on the table then wait outside, you two as well." Oin said looking at Dwalin and Balin.

"I'm staying Oin!" Thorin growled as he placed his unconscious nephew on the table carefully.

"Come laddie, there's nothing more we can do here, we'll just be in the way." Balin said gently, placing his hand on Thorin's arm.

"Aye, Oin's the best healer here, Kíli's in good hands now." Dwalin agreed, and with Balin's help they guided Thorin from the room.

"You stay with me Kíli, don't you dare leave us!" Thorin called out, hoping that somehow in the darkness surrounding him Kíli would hear him.

Balin guided Thorin back towards the entrance where they could wait. He knew if Thorin was nearby and Kíli started crying out then the door wouldn't be enough to keep him from his nephew. As they sat down the door to the Healing House burst open and Dís rushed in, closely followed by Gloin.

"What happened? Where is he? Where are my babies?!" Dís yelled, looking around desperately. Thorin hurried over to his sister and wrapped his arms around her.

"Thorin where are they?" Dís sobbed.

"He's in with Oin; they're doing everything they can for him Dís." Thorin said, choking slightly on his breath. He couldn't get the image of Kíli, his boisterous, wild-haired and trouble making Kíli looking so pale and still out of his head.

Dís looked at her brother and could see the pain and grief on his face. She held his face with one of her hands and forced him to look at her. "What aren't you telling me Thorin?"

"It's bad, he's been hurt pretty bad." Thorin whispered, fighting a losing battle to stop tears falling from his eyes.

Dís whimpered as her legs gave way, Thorin following her down and the pair of them clung to each other.

Dwalin motioned to Balin to follow him and he moved to the opposite end of the waiting room. He fell into a chair, scrubbing a hand over his face before looking wearily at his older brother who was leaning against a table.

There was silence between the two of them before Balin gave him a small smile. "Don't think I've ever seen you run that fast in my life."

Dwalin rolled his eyes "I can, you're just never the one I'm chasing." Balin snorted quietly before silence settled over them once more.

"Do you think he'll pull through?" Dwalin asked with an uncharacteristically small voice.

"Aye, the lads tough, he won't let this beat him, he's too stubborn for that." Balin said, trying to reassure not just himself but his younger brother also.

Dwalin nodded, yet to be convinced. Kíli was strong, sure, and he'd had his fair share of injuries, but never to this level or severity and whether the young dwarf's body would be able to cope remained to be seen.

Dís' hoarse voice echoed through the quiet room. "Where's Fíli?"

Dwalin and Balin looked at the two Durin's on the floor, watching as the blood drained out of Thorin's face when he realised who he'd forgotten in the panic.

"Oh Mahal" he choked out looking at his friends desperately "Fíli… was he…"

Dwalin shook his head "I didn't get a chance to get a good look at Buttercup because you needed help with the lad, but there weren't any ropes like what Kíli had and from what light there was I couldn't see any blood, so either he wasn't hurt when he fell off, or he was never on Buttercup in the first place."

_Either way it's not a good sign, I just hope he's safe_. Balin prayed silently.

"Thorin," Dwalin continued quietly "if Fíli wasn't hurt he'd be the one who brought Kíli back, nothing would keep him from making sure his brother alright. Him not being here, it can only mean -"

"Don't! Dwalin please don't say it. He's fine, he has to be." Thorin moaned.

"We need to send people out looking for him."

"Where would they look Dwalin? That forest is vast and we have no idea where they were camping." Balin responded dejectedly.

"It's better than doing nothing Balin."

"Don't you think I don't know that Balin?" Thorin growled "Dwalin you and Gloin organise and send patrol's out but tell them to stay in pairs and keep their eyes open, we don't know who did this or if they're still nearby."

"I will, I'll check the horses again for clues then I'll come back."

* * *

Half an hour passed and still there was no word from Oin. Thorin, Dis, Balin and Dwalin (who had returned after checking the horses and helping organise the search parties) had been given a room to wait in but all four were restless, ears straining for any noises from the youngest Durin, or constantly going and waiting for a healer to leave the room in order to corner them for information. Worryingly they'd also had no word from any of the patrols currently out searching with information on their missing heir.

The door opened and Oin walked in, a cloth in his hands to wipe off the blood.

"How is he?" Dís asked immediately as she leapt off her seat.

"He's alive, in pretty bad shape but he'll live. I'll explain his injuries later but the small dose of poppy milk I gave him will start wearing off shortly so he'll start stirring, if you need to talk to him, now would be the time before I give him a stronger dose."

Thorin nodded and hurried out of the room, the others hot on his tail. When they reached Kíli's room a hush fell over them, Thorin opening the door quietly and they all slipped in. A quiet sob escaped Dís' lips as she hurried to her son's side.

Kíli looked awful. He'd been moved to a bed to keep him comfortable, and as they got closer they could see he was incredibly pale, his skin colour almost similar to the white sheets he was laying on but his cheeks were flushed and covered in sweat causing his hair to stick to his skin, and there were several thick blankets lying on top of him as well as a strong fire to try help him sweat out the fever that was ravaging his body. His skin was hot to the touch and a healer was currently replacing the cloth on his forehead with a colder one.

"He's burning," Dís whispered with a shaky voice, gently pulling his hair up and away from his neck to tie it in a messy pony tail to help keep him cool.

Kíli whimpered in his unconsciousness, beads of what Thorin thought was sweat trickling down his cheeks.

"How bad Oin?" Balin asked in a whisper

"Well he -"

"Fee..." Kíli whispered

"Kíli? Its Oin, can you open your eyes lad?" Oin said as he hurried to the table and clasped his hand.

"Fee... Please" Kíli whimpered again.

"C'mon darling open your eyes!"

Kíli turned his head slightly into Dís' touch before he let out a sob "don't leave me Fee, please."

Thorin grasped his nephews face gently and stroked his thumbs over his cheeks. "Kíli, focus on my voice alright? I need you to open your eyes; we need to know what happened."

Several moments passed before Kíli's eyes slowly cracked open, his face set in a pained grimace just from the slightest of movements. "Uncle," he whimpered "Fíli? Where is he?"

"We don't know Kíli; we need you to tell us what happened, where were you camping?" Thorin asked gently.

Kíli's eyes rolled backwards as he struggled to hold on to consciousness "Fee..." He sobbed again "The... Lookout" he choked out, eyes snapping open and looking around unseeing "At… Lookout... FEE!" He cried brokenly before going still once more.

Thorin motioned for Balin and Dwalin to follow him from the room, leaving Dís to watch over her son.

"Recall the patrols, I want you to get Gloin, Bofur, Bifur and 15 others and meet me at the gates in 10 minutes fully armed on horses. We're bringing him home." Balin and Dwalin nodded before hurrying off, Thorin turning to head back to Kíli's room.

He placed a gentle hand on Dís' shoulder when he arrived, and she looked at him with red eyes.

"We'll bring him back Dís, you'll see."

She nodded and wiped away a stray tear. "Good luck."

Hopefully they wouldn't need it.


	5. The Aftermath

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay, I've been trying to get as many chapters roughly written as I can as I've just started back at Uni for my last 6 months, and writing is going to become very difficult to do, so I've been trying to get some work done so I can keep going with the story. So just hang in there, I've got about 4 chapters pretty much completed, but they'll help me fill in the time :D**

**Just in response to a previous review regarding the way they/I dealt with Kili's fever, in case anyone else had the same concerns about overheating, I based it around what I'd found online that whilst the fever makes a person feel warm, their body reacts as though its cold, hence the shivers. So I went with the recommendation of keeping him warm but cooling his forehead down. Unfortunately I'm not smart enough to be a medical student so I have to go by what I can find (besides I'm too accident prone so I'd probably be a hazard in a hospital more than a help :) )**

**Glad you're all enjoying the story so far, trust me things are only going to get worse before they get better :D**

**Special shout out to the new followers/favouriters Marg1780, x NikiSt x and Marmie, as well as everyone who is already following. You guys are awesome! :D**

**As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien**

* * *

Ten minutes and twenty soldiers later found Thorin and his men thundering down the road, the guard bell ringing in their wake to tell the other patrols to get back to the town. Thorin drowned out the sound of the bell, praying that Fíli was waiting for someone to come get him. He knew hoping that he'd be unscathed would be too farfetched considering Kíli's injury, but he hoped it would be small enough that he could call out to them if they didn't spot him straight away.

They drew level with the small, partially concealed dirt track that led to the lookout. Thorin jumped out of his saddle before tying his horse to one of the trees.

"We're on foot from here, I want us to have the element of surprise" He whispered to the dwarves who were already mimicking his actions.

Thorin made sure all his weapons were secure before nodding to his men and setting off down the trail. He wasn't a hundred percent sure why he was surprised that this was where the lads would camp for their last night, after all this was a spot that they'd found many years ago when they had run off from him and Dis for the day (he decided to forget about the punishments they'd been given for scaring them like that). It was a beautiful place; a small clearing hidden away in the trees not too far in, a small stream that ran nearby and there was a path that led to the cliffs not too far away. The boys had taken him and Dis there one night, and the hundreds of stars that littered the night sky made for one of the most beautiful nights they'd ever spent outdoors, and was made even more spectacular with the fire moon that appeared.

They moved quickly and quietly through the bush before the smell of burnt wood and something metallic reached them. They reached the edge of the clearing, and Thorin raised his hand to stop his men.

"Something's wrong." Dwalin murmured in his ear when he appeared at his shoulder.

Thorin nodded, he had already known something was wrong the moment he had spotted the clearing through the trees. The first problem was the silence, there wasn't a sound in the area, even the birds were quiet; the only kind of sound near him was the heavy breathing of his companions. The second was the darkness, there was no campfire to guide them or reveal the area, which Thorin knew would make it harder to find Fíli and figure out what had happened.

He motioned for the others to move forward, keeping a strong grip on his sword. He paused when he felt his boot slip in something, but it was too dark to tell what.

"Gloin, light the camp fire would you." He whispered, spotting a thin silver stream of smoke trailing up into the air.

Gloin grunted in response, manoeuvring around the rocks in his path. He brushed away the dirt that had been thrown on top to put it out quickly before pulling out his flint and setting to work. Everyone else still stood with their swords drawn, not wanting to be taken by surprise. A small huff of victory came from Gloin before the clearing lit up. Thorin looked around and thought he might be sick, it wasn't rocks or logs that littered in the clearing; it was bodies, Orc bodies.

Thorin let out a strangled cry "Spread out and find him! Fíli!" He looked around desperately, looking for any sign of his nephew.

"Anything!?" Thorin cried after several minutes of searching.

"Nothing!" Cried several of his men who were turning over bodies or looking in the surrounding forest.

Suddenly Dwalin called out in a hollow voice. "Thorin, over here."

Thorin spun on his heel and raced over to Dwalin who had lit a torch to help his search. When Thorin arrived Dwalin didn't even turn to his friend, he only stared at the ground in front of him. Thorin followed his eye line, before letting out a choked sob and falling to his knees. There in front of them surrounded by four orcs bodies was a large pool of congealing blood littered with pieces of flesh and bone, with two very familiar swords in the middle. Thorin crawled forward, ignorant of the sticky blood that was seeping into his tunic and reached forward, tenderly scooping up the blood stained golden braids that had been hacked off and left behind, the bloodied silver beads the only thing holding them together.

A devastated cry tore its way from Thorin's throat as his vision blurred, Dwalin placing a shaking hand on his friends shoulder as he curled in on himself, clutching the braids to his chest as he struggled for breath. The cry had drawn the others in; Balin was the first to arrive only to stop at the sight that greeted him. His eyes scanned the scene with horror, a hand covering his mouth as he shakily pointed to something just past the blood pool. Dwalin looked to where his brother was pointing, his grip tightened on Thorin's shoulder as a strangled moan escaped his lips. There, ripped to pieces by the teeth of a Warg were the remnants of Fíli's outer clothing. The shreds themselves were only recognisable because of the colour of the leather they were made of and what was remaining of the fur that adorned the trim.

The others had gathered behind their mourning King, their own hearts breaking at witnessing his raw pain and the knowledge that they had lost a precious treasure that night, surely two, when Kíli learnt of his brother's death.

"Thorin," Balin whispered brokenly "we shouldn't stay here."

"Give 'im a moment Balin for pity's sake." Dwalin choked out, tightening his hold on his friends shoulder as he didn't know how else to comfort him.

After several moments Thorin raised his head, his eyes bloodshot yet the tears gone. When he spoke it was with a steady but quiet voice. "Balin, Dwalin, collect what you can of his, he would want those he loves to do it, Gloin, get the others to pile the carcasses and burn them outside the forest, I don't want these foul beast's tainting this area any more than they already have."

"Let's get a move on" Gloin said quietly to the men beside him. A series of murmured "ayes" were heard as the soldiers spread out to carry out their task in silence in respect for their mourning King and fallen price.

With a heavy heart Balin moved to pick up a blanket from the medical supplies they'd brought in with them, then with Dwalin's help the pair of them set about picking up what they could find that belonged to the boys. Dwalin had picked up and moved the two packs that aside from a bit of blood had been strangely left behind before joining Balin in trying to find as much of the blonde's clothing, or anything else of him, as they could.

Tragically, not much of Fíli or his clothing remained, only tatters could be found but they were placed delicately into the blanket all the same, any flesh they found was placed in a small jar, hidden away out of respect for his family and for burial later.

Once every piece of leather had been found and placed in the middle of the blanket Balin and Dwalin turned to look at the last items that needed collecting, and they were the most painful to do. How often had Dwalin or other opponents tried to knock them out of Fíli's hands to beat him at training? How many hours had Fíli spent cleaning, polishing, and sharpening them? Pouring love and care into the blades that were an extension of himself? Now his beloved twin falchions would never feel a whetting stone across their blade or a polishing cloth from his hands again.

Dwalin swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat as he stepped forward, feeling sick that it was the blood that had pumped so strongly through the young heir not hours before that was coating the bottom of his boots, something that would have to be cleaned off, washed away like the owner had never mattered. He picked the swords up delicately by the blade, not wanting to touch the handles for fear he'd be able to feel the ghost of Fíli's touch in his final moments, fighting manically, unable to reach his brother.

Dwalin shook his head to clear it from the painful thoughts, grateful he had his back to the others to allow the single tear that had escaped to slip into his beard unseen. He stepped back through the blood the way he'd come, not wanting to disturb any more of it before crouching down next to the blanket, lowering the swords to the centre. The blanket wasn't particularly big, in fact when placed in the middle the swords hilts hung over the edge. After they were placed on the blanket Balin folded up the end where the tips of the blades were before wrapping the sides around the swords and leather, trapping them in a cocoon.

Balin scooped the blanket up and stood, nodding to his younger brother before turning to face Thorin, only he wasn't where he'd been moments before. Balin looked around quickly, shoulders sagging slightly in relief when he spotted him disappearing back down the path they'd taken. He and Dwalin went to follow him, but before they could Gloin appeared at their side.

"I can't imagine what he's going through, what he's going to go through." Gloin said in a hushed voice, all three of them watching Thorin's retreating form with sad eyes.

"No one can really understand the pain of losing a child, he's helped Dís raise them after all, they're like his sons." Balin agreed sadly. His heart was aching, knowing that his king and closest friend who he'd known since he was born was suffering a pain that he couldn't help heal.

"I know, I can't imagine losing Gimli, all I've been thinking about since we got here was what if had been him?" Gloin sighed, before focussing on the task at hand. "We've moved the orc carcasses from the forest; they're now outside the tree line. The warg's we'll have to come back to do with horses as they're too heavy to shift right now. Do we burn the carcasses now?"

"Don't do it yet. Wait until they're all shifted and we'll burn 'em together. I don't think anyone has the energy fer much else." Dwalin said. "Call everyone back, we'll go back to the horses together, give Thorin some time alone."

Gloin nodded before moving to fetch the others leaving Balin and Dwalin to stand there in silence, not knowing what to say to each other.

* * *

Further in the bush, away from prying eyes Thorin stumbled on the path, falling to one knee whilst a silent sob tore through him and tears streamed down his face. He gasped for breath, just willing his lungs and aching heart to function properly, to allow him to try and restore his stoic façade before anyone saw him. He held his right hand to his chest, fist sitting directly on his heart cradling the braids and beads he hadn't released as though they could bring him some kind of comfort. Fíli was gone, the bright, protective, even-tempered, eager to learn, trouble making, friendly, kind hearted and loving dwarf that had been the first light in his dark world for so long, one of the two most precious children in his life that he'd helped his sister raise since their father had died was gone. And he still had to tell his sister, he still had to tell Kíli.

He choked back a sob, his wild, carefree and loving nephew, who even now was fighting for his life had lost his other half, his partner in crime, his best friend. Thorin thought his heart would stop just from thinking about the look of grief that would be on his youngest nephews face, he wished with all his heart he could take the pain away, bring Fíli back to spare them both the grief and pain this night had brought.

He heard movement further back indicating the others were on their way. Inhaling deeply through his nose he stood, making his way quickly to his pony whilst drying his eyes. He'd pull himself together, he would be strong for his family and help get them through this, he'd look after them for Fíli if it was the last thing he did.


	6. My Many Regrets

**A/N: Hello Everyone! Sorry for the update delay, I had a few issues with the start of this chapter, I'm always nervous about bringing in a new OC, this character is crucial to the story, so please don't hate her too much. And yes I know, her name isn't very Elvish, but all will be explained later on. I hope you all come to love her :)**

**I also understand that some people might find the injuries slightly unrealistic but I'm just working off my imagination, Fili's injuries aren't that muscle and ligaments are being torn, more like really deep cuts that hurt like crazy. Don't forget dwarves are a hardy race, and its fiction :D  
**

**So between homework and school I've been diligently working on the story. You know how you write a chapter, then re-read it a few days later and think 'this doesn't fit into blahs personality', then decide to re-write it to try and make it sound better, only to go back a week later and go 'what was I thinking?! This is so off the mark!' FOUR TIMES! Four flaming times I've re-written chapter 8 as I just haven't been satisfied with it, but I'm happy with the way it's written now and the character reactions, so hopefully I'll have it completed soon and coming your way.**

**See PJ, I can give a chapter so where's the damn trailer?! **

**Welcome to psychosanity4humanity, ncis-lady and Celebrisilweth and other guests who've followed/favourited the story, as well as everyone else leaving comments, you guys are awesome!  
**

**As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien**

* * *

Pain, white hot burning pain was all he felt when his mind first struggled to grasp onto some form of consciousness. Surely the knives that had been plunged into his skin, which were slowly moving downwards and splitting him wide open would cease soon and allow death to claim him quickly. It seemed it wasn't meant to be, and after what felt like days of agony the pain exploded in his head, blanking it and allowing him to slip into blissful sleep.

The second time he woke it was like attempting to walk through knee deep mud, trying to fight to some kind of coherency, to do anything other than be stuck in this darkness. And the heat, oh Mahal how it burned! Never in his life had he thought heat like this would be possible for any living being; only a fire at a forge could possibly burn at this temperature. Through the pain and the fire snatches of dreams whirled through his mind. Or, were they dreams? Could they be memories? He wasn't sure anymore.

_Get him out of here!_

_Love you Kíli, always…_

_Fee!_

Fíli gasped, drawing much needed air into his burning lungs as his brother's horrified cry for him stabbed through him like a knife. He felt weak and incredibly light headed from blood loss, every tiny movement he made sent blasts of pain coursing through him. He grit his teeth, trying to focus enough to numb the pain, but even gritting his teeth made him feel as though he was burning alive.  
His eyes snapped open, or, at least he thought they had. He blinked a few times but his vision stayed black. A whimper escaped his lips, what if he'd gone blind? What if –

Something soft wiped over his face before a finger was placed over his lips. He frowned, he hadn't made that much noise had he? Before he could think much on it something was lifted slightly from around his eyes. He blinked a few times as his vision swam into focus, squinting up at the face that hovered above him. The person was blurry and certainly didn't look like anyone he knew, but before he could do anything they raised the finger covering his lips to theirs before looking over their shoulder, replacing the blindfold hastily.

"I am taking him to the stream." A female voice said firmly.

There was a snarl in response which made Fíli freeze completely. He recognised that noise; he'd been fighting the creatures that made it not too long ago. Orcs; and it appeared that this female was helping them. Before he could say anything something happened making the female gasp in pain and the Orc to hiss again.

"You ain' takin' 'im anywhere elf-scum."

"You made me heal him when he was on the verge of death. I would rather have let him die to spare him what you'll put him through, but seeing as I am unable to do that I am going to do what I see fit to keep him alive and if that means taking him to the stream then that is what I will do. Besides I can hardly run off." Came the angry response, before another yelp of pain escaped her lips.

"Why inne awake yet?"

"Shall I run you through with a sword so we can see how quickly you recover?"

A hard slap above him had him twitching in shock as heavy footsteps moved away muttering angrily. He lay completely still, not sure what to expect when he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was light and gentle, mindful of any wounds he might have there. The grip became firm, easing him up slightly before an arm slid behind his back causing him to groan as the pain and fire ripped through him again.

"Shh shh, I am sorry." The female said again. There was a rattle before another arm was slipped under his legs and he was lifted gently from the ground. Being in the air didn't help any but he bit his lip to stop any other noises escaping.

Whoever the female carrying him was was gentle, and her strides were smooth which meant he wasn't jostled painfully once. Through the haze in his mind he noticed that the minimal noise that had been nearby faded until it was just a quiet buzz in the background.

He was lowered onto a thick patch of grass that cushioned his body, and to his relief his fingers touched a rock that he grabbed onto, grateful he now had some kind of weapon. Fighting to stay awake he waited, mindful of the fact his body was still screaming in pain until he felt and heard the female hovering and swung his fist, rock and all upwards to where she should be. There was a satisfying crunch and a cry of surprise as Fíli yanked the cloth off of his eyes and sat up, crying out and clutching at his head as waves of nausea washed over him. Vision still blurry, he could only just make out the form of the female hunched over next him and he raised the rock high, hoping that if he disabled her he would be able to escape before the Orcs noticed.

She looked up just as he went to swing again and grabbed his wrist, holding it in mid-air making Fíli gasp in agony as the movement caused a wound in his side to suddenly tear open again. Using her free hand she pried the rock from his grasp before dropping it out of his reach.

"Enough, you were gravely injured and will die on me if you do not allow me to finish treating you."

"I don't need the help of an Orc friend!" Fíli spat, breathing heavily through his teeth as the pain in his side got worse.

"I am no Orc friend." The elf growled back, standing suddenly to collect a bag that had been dropped not too far away.

Fíli collapsed back onto the grass with a cry, fighting wave after dizzying wave that left him trembling and gasping for breath. "Please," He whimpered "please I need to find my brother; I need to make sure he's ok."

The elf returned with the bag and sat next to him. "I am sorry, but you are too badly wounded to even think about standing, let alone anything else."

Fíli shook his head and tried to sit up again only to let out a cry of agony and fall sideways as he vomited blood and bile. He whimpered and rolled onto his back when he stopped, his throat now burning from the acid.

He felt awful, he was on fire as every movement he made was torture, shivers were constantly wracking his body and he could barely focus on what the elf was saying, the only thought he could focus on was _Kíli, have to find Kíli_

"What is your name?" The elf asked him gently, pulling several plants from her small bag and preparing them so she could chew on them to make a paste.

"Fíli," he groaned, fisting the grass as pain tore through his already weak body once more. "You?"

"Amber."

Amber placed a cool hand on his forehead and grimaced "a fever has already set in. I need to heal you now if you are to survive and I am afraid it will hurt, a lot."

Without giving him a chance to answer she pushed the first lot of paste directly into the large wound on his side that was visible through his torn clothing. Fíli screamed, grabbing at the grass as he writhed around, trying to push away her hands that were pinning him down.

"Kíli, save me." He screamed before his eyes rolled back into his head and he knew no more.

* * *

When Balin and Dwalin arrived at the road it was to find Thorin already on his pony, facing towards Ered Luin and away from them all. The pair looked at each other before walking towards their friend, noticing the others had appeared and were also mounting their horses.

Balin stopped at Thorin's side. "These belong to you, to your family. It is only right that you should carry them."

Thorin kept looking straight ahead as though he hadn't heard him.

"Thorin," Balin said quietly, touching his friend's knee to try and elicit some kind of response.

Thorin squeezed his eyes shut, a single tear rolling down his face into his beard. He turned and looked at the brothers with tortured eyes before holding out his arms silently. Balin thought his heart would break at the broken look in his eye and almost decided against handing the bundle over, but he knew he had no right to refuse him this tiny comfort.

With a heavy heart Balin placed the bundle in Thorin's arms, noticing the closed fist with the bloodied golden braids poking out. When he let go Thorin pulled the bundle up, hugging it to his chest and looking ahead as a blank and distant look settled on his face.

Balin turned away and followed Dwalin to the ponies, grabbing his brothers arm to stop him from mounting. "Dwalin," he said in a low voice "stick with Thorin. He shouldn't be alone right now and I think you're the only one he'll respond to."

"Aye, you know I will."

Balin looked around at the solemn group and sighed. "Let's go home." He said quietly, nudging his pony to the head of the group.

Dwalin manoeuvred his pony until he was next to Thorin who was waiting for the others to leave, holding his head high but never once releasing the firm grip on the precious cargo he now held. A wide gap had formed before Thorin finally encouraged his pony to follow the rest, Dwalin staying right by his side.

Minutes passed in silence, Dwalin kept casting sideways looks at Thorin who hadn't moved once and hadn't weakened his hold on the blanket or the braids either. Finally he looked fully at his best friend and let out a sigh "Thorin -"

"Don't Dwalin," Thorin said cutting him off with a quiet voice "just don't. There is nothing you can say that will change what happened, nothing you can say that can bring him back. I failed my family, I failed him." Thorin's voice broke at that and he squeezed his eyes closed, looking away from his friend.

"You didn't fail your family and you certainly didn't fail that boy. Fíli loved you Thorin, you meant everything to him! And don't you dare tell me you should have done more for his training!" He said angrily, cutting his friend off when his mouth opened. "You and I both know he and Kíli were well ahead of their years when it came to their training, I've yet to meet another swordsman who can fight with dual swords as naturally as what he could, nor have I met a dwarven archer who could hope to match Kíli, and I've never met a pair deadlier when they fight together as those two."

"I failed him Dwalin! I was supposed to step down and give Fíli the throne when we reclaimed Erebor and my rule had come to an end, I was supposed to see his coronation before my time was up, I was supposed to hold his and Kíli's children and tell them stories when old age had rendered me useless for all else. Supposed supposed supposed! All these things I was supposed to do and now never can because I let my guard down, allowed myself to feel safe for the first time in a long time!" Thorin yelled angrily, ignoring the sad glances thrown back at him from the dwarves further up.

He let out a sigh and continued quietly "Too long have I held him and Kíli at arm's length, treating them just as heirs rather than nephews, no matter how much it broke my heart when they thought they had to ask permission to talk to me rather than throw themselves at me as they once did, and it is something I cannot fix but now instead must carry as another failure of myself."

Dwalin moved his pony so she cut Thorin off and he came up alongside him, allowing him to glare at his friend directly rather than side on. He grabbed his shoulders and looked at him in the eye. "You cannot blame yourself Thorin, it is an empty guilt that you blame yourself with, one you must learn to let go off because there is another dwarf who will need you more than ever."

"Kíli." Thorin murmured lowering his eyes and hugging the blanket to him.

"Yes, Kíli. When that boy wakes up and learns his brother's gone he is going to need every bit of support he can get to even think about getting through this. I've always known that if one of them goes the other will attempt to follow, I won't allow that to happen and I know you won't either. He'll blame himself for what happened and he'll need you more than ever to get through this." He said sternly. "We'll get through this, one day and one step at a time."

Thorin let out a weak chuckle "when did you become so wise?"

"Since Balin told me to look after you. Don't worry, all this wiseness will probably be gone by tomorrow." He said with a chuckle. He moved his pony around the back of Thorin's and drew up alongside him. "You need to grieve, everyone does, but we'll be there for you every step of the way. You're not alone."

Thorin gave a tiny nod and the pair nudged the ponies to follow the rest of their group back to town.

* * *

The rest of the trip passed in silence. Thorin had kept his distance from the rest of the group, only Dwalin had stuck by him and he was grateful for the silent support. The quiet gave him time to think about what he'd say to Dís and eventually Kíli about what they had found, he knew they'd have to talk about it eventually, he needed to know exactly how his he- no his _nephew_, he mentally berated himself, had fallen.

Thorin looked up when a cry of "open the gates" echoed through the air. The subdued group entered, Thorin and Dwalin kicking their ponies to catch up and pass the group to head straight for the healers. He needed to get to Dís; he needed to get to his family so they could mourn and work through this dark time together.

Thorin left Balin to deal with anyone who was waiting for news, knowing he would join them as soon as he'd sent them away with the promise of a town meeting in the morning to inform everyone of what had happened, but more importantly after his sister had been told. They quickly approached the Healers House, and a healer who had been outside smoking his pipe looked up when he heard them approach and dashed inside.

Thorin slowed his pony and climbed off, never loosening his grip on the items he held and walked forward, spotting a dark haired dwarf dashing past a window and seconds later Dís came hurrying out. Thorin inhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself for the myriad of emotions Dís was bound to go through.

"Thorin!" Dís cried as she hurtled towards him "Thorin where is he? Where is my baby?" She came to a sudden stop in front of him, black hair wild and dark eyes searching his face frantically.

"I'm so sorry Dís." Thorin whispered, shifting the blankets so she could see the hilts of Fíli's falchions.

Dís looked at the bundle in her brothers' arms in horror, her face paling as she fixed rapidly watering brown eyes on him. "No," she whispered brokenly "tell me it isn't true."

Thorin lowered his eyes, unable to look at the raw grief on his sisters' face.

"No," she moaned

"Dís..."

"NononononoNO!" She wailed, breaking into sobs and grabbing onto Thorin as her knees gave out, dragging him down with her. Thorin dropped the bundle and wrapped his sister in his arms and Dís buried her face in his shoulder, crying and beating her fists against his shoulders in denial.

Thorin rested a hand on the back of her head, running his fingers over her hair as he squeezed his own eyes shut against the fresh tears that started overflowing. He buried his face into her neck, trying to stifle the fresh sobs that began to break free and noticed that Dís was no longer hitting him but had instead curled her hands into his tunic, holding onto him tightly. It was with heavy hearts that Dwalin and Balin, who had joined them just as Dís appeared, watched the two heirs of Durin grieve for their lost child.

It felt like an age had passed before the sobs wracking Dís' body subsided, and only quiet sniffles could be heard as Thorin continued to hold her. Thorin kissed her temple before resting his forehead against hers, letting out a quiet sigh and looking her in the eye.

"Oh Dís, what I would give to change what happened... We will get through this, this I promise you." Thorin whispered softly.

"I don't know what to do Thorin. I never thought I'd have to go through this again." Dís admitted quietly, hiccupping slightly.

"We will get each other through this; we will get Kíli through this. He will need us more than ever before and I will not allow him to pull away and disappear inside himself, I can't lose him as well."

Dís nodded, sniffing softly before releasing her hold on Thorin's clothes and pulling back to dry her eyes. Thorin cupped his sister's face and kissed her forehead gently. He scooped up the blanket and looked at her "these should go to Kíli."

Dís nodded, running her thumb along the red gold braids she now held in her hand, suddenly feeling older beyond her years. Her mourning was far from over, but it was something she would do privately, away from pitying eyes and in an attempt to show a brave face to their people, for her beloved lion.

But for now she had to look after her injured raven, nurse him back to health from his injuries, but more importantly try to help ease his broken heart.


End file.
